Faffing for England…

My mentor is on occasion a complete bugger. A couple of years back, after I’d known him a while, he set me a challenge – to put my life plan down on paper. More specifically I had to do it in four thousand words. Which is a lot of words btw. And to make matters even more complex he wanted it as a story.

Major *eeeek* moment.

There’s an art to telling stories.  I’ve heard them told well, and I’ve seen them delivered badly.  I learnt at an early age that if you want to hold someone’s attention you have to be able to tell a good story. It’s true for bedtime stories with kids, jokes or anecdotes with your mates down the pub, writing a communication at work or giving a presentation. However if you want to get your message across – or at the bare minimum to stop your audience from falling asleep – you need to follow a basic rule.

A story must consist of a beginning, a middle and an end. Simples.

In the beginning you set the scene, paint a picture of the situation. Perhaps a girl is treated badly by her older sisters, forced to clean the house and cook while they go out partying.

Then in the middle something happens – a crisis – perhaps a three-headed monster lays siege to a tiny hamlet or our lead character has some kind of epiphany moment. Perhaps her fairy god-mother produces some haute couture and gets our girl to the ball bang on time, but she has to exit stage left before the prince can get her name and number.

Finally, there is the end. By this point your audience is looking to you to provide the conclusion. If you’ve told your story well there should be a sense of dissonance and a positive outcome is expected, nay demanded. Perhaps the prince tracked down the girl via a bit of online stalking, tried the slipper on her and it fitted and now the girl is saved from her horrible sisters.

Easy when you break it down into bite size chunks isn’t it?

I’ve been having a faff / worry / panic over the weekend. And last week too truth be told. I’ve got lots going on right now in my little world, and on top of that I’ve *acquired* a new project at work. And this new project is pushing me a little bit out of my comfort zone.  It’s one of those “Oh my God, I’ve got to stand up and speak in front of lots of people about WHAT?!” kind of projects. Just thinking about it is making me get a little bit antsy right now. And my heart is definitely beating faster.

Taking a step back for a second, I know that I am more than capable of absolutely nailing this project despite my nerves. And minor bunny in the headlights moment. I know my subject matter well. I know how to pitch this. I know how to spin this story. The task at hand is by no means insurmountable. I just need to break it down into bite size chunks. Which is what I’ve spent today doing. Now it looks and feels achievable. Aces.

A *wise* person (not a Scooby who – sorry) once said this: “Worry is like a rocking chair – it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.” They’ve got a point you know.

Decisions, decisions…

I mentor someone. Poor child I know. We met up last week. Top news! She has been offered a job. Her first since leaving Uni. On paper it requires hard work and effort, but offers potential to be a good building block for her future. However she was dithering. She asked me how I would go about making a choice. I gave her my view. And then when I got home I thought about it some more. This is the email I sent her later that night…

Choice is a powerful weapon in your arsenal. From the moment you get up until the moment you go to bed your life is all about choices. Big or small, important or insignificant you make choices all the time. From what to wear, to whether to go to the gym to what to have for dinner, choice constitutes an integral part of your life.

Life is an amalgamation of the choices you make. Though conditions and circumstances outside of our control influence your life, what you do when faced with these situations is your choice. Where I am today is down to the choices I have made. Had I ended up in the wrong place then it would have been because I had made the wrong decisions. Simples.

To succeed at any cost, to never give up until you reach your goal, to persevere until you reach the end is your choice. To get up every time you fall, to push hard, to go that little bit further is your choice. Going for success even after failure is a choice, getting off your butt and working your arse off until you reach your target is your choice. Getting up in the morning and working out even when your duvet is holding you hostage is your choice. All of these are difficult choices, but once made, they make life easier. Not necessarily easy.

Many of the choices we make are small, but some are life changing and have far-reaching consequences. Whatever the choice is make sure that it is a conscious one. Do not live life on auto pilot opting for the routine and mundane, rather than the harder task of thinking through the possibilities and making the right choice.

Start small, and build your confidence. Even if you get it wrong, keep at it. Only by making mistakes will you learn what is right for you. Make sure that you listen to your heart; it knows what is good for you.

Choice precedes change. When you are not happy with your life, with the way things are, you need to make a choice, a decision to change. Only then will change happen.

Remember to choose wisely. But always remember its your choice.

Footnote. She accepted the job the next day. Aces.

Victim or victor?

Minor caveat: This is a little bit of a rant… So forgive me please.

I was having a chat with a mate about something at the weekend – actually not something, someone – and their approach to a situation and how by not taking control of it that they had became a victim of it, and ultimately themselves.

The words victim and victor have the same root origin. The prefix vict comes from latin and means to conquer. Of course, the victor is the one who does the conquering and the victim is the one who is conquered. Strange how two words can be so similar in origin, but so diametrically opposed in meaning.

We all know people with a victim mentality. This state of mind is usually characterised by a sense of helplessness. They feel powerless to change their situation. They engage frequently in the finger pointing /  blame game. Since they are powerless and have no control they couldn’t possibly be responsible for anything that happens to them – could they? No, it must be someone else’s fault. Natch.

They actively search for reasons why they are in the state they are in. It’s because of their race, gender, their economic status, or sexual orientation. Or it could be because of their faith, their appearance, or any number of other things; but they can always find a way to justify the blame.

Victimhood does exactly what the victim thinks it does. It holds the victim back. It prevents them from making progress. However, in many cases, it’s the belief in the victimisation itself and not the perceived victimisers that keeps people in their place.

By its very nature, victimhood is the polar opposite of victory. The victim is the conquered so it shouldn’t be surprising that they don’t share many traits with the victors. In the mind of the victor, blame is replaced by ownership and responsibility. Instead of wasting their energy trying to find someone to blame or searching for reasons why they haven’t moved forward, the victor takes responsibility for their situation and spends their energy looking at how they can change a situation. They don’t look for excuses; they look for ways to take action.

I get very frustrated by people that act the victim. It makes me sad that they appear to see life as a losing game, a source of oppression, and as if everyone is out to get them. They’re really not btw. These people stand little chance of having a fulfilling, happy and contented life. Ok, ok, ok. No one is happy and content all of the time, but how is happiness even possible with a negative outlook?

At the end of the day, whether victim or victor, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s the Law of Attraction in action. The person who thinks constantly about defeat, injustice and blame attracts more defeat, injustice and blame. A setback for a victim who attempts to move things forward is seen as the final straw. They give up.

Whereas the person whose focus is positive and proactive, well they generally attract more positivity and action. Even when they fail, they don’t look for blame, they look for the lesson to learn and they get back up and go at it again. No wonder they end up winning a whole lot more than they lose.

I’ll let you work out how that applies to running. And for the record I am not a victim.

Here’s my training log on Dailymile.

Needs vs. wants.

I’ve been pondering a topic of conversation recently whilst I’ve been cranking out the miles. Wants vs.  needs. Needs vs. wants. Bit like Daddy or chips really. Or maybe that’s just me?

A need is something you have to have, something you can’t do without. A good example is food. If you don’t eat, you won’t survive for long. Now some people go for days without eating, but they eventually cave in and eat. After all you do need to eat.

A want is something you would like to have. It is not absolutely necessary, but it would be a nice thing to have. A good example is music. Now, some people might argue that music is a need because they think they can’t do without it. But you don’t need music to survive. However you do need to eat.

We’ve also experienced buyer’s remorse right?  I sure’s hell have. (Skinny jeans are my usual source of remorse – my backside simply isnt made for them.) You’ve saved up to buy the latest and greatest iPad. (Other tablet devices are available btw.) At first there is nothing better – the feeling of ownership is like a heightened sense of elation.  And then Apple announces a new iPad (complete with coffee maker) a couple of months later. How do you feel now?

These days it’s easy for us to be blinded. Need overcomes want. Most people go for instant gratification. I’ve done it, we all have.  There are a few points to remember about these two things:

►    A want is a tactic. A need is a strategy.

►    A want is unstable. A need is balanced.

►    A want is cause and effect. A need produces lasting results.

A want is a moving target and what we want always increases; so the elation or high needs to be greater each time. Sounds like a drug? Well, it is. Meanwhile a need is balanced and provides for stability in difficult situations. A need helps to define us; it provides meaning and quality.

Randomly right now I both want and need to run. I think that this is a good thing. Well to me it is.

Here’s my training log on Dailymile.

You snooze, you lose.

I love sleep. It’s one of my most favourite things in the whole wide world. I cannot think of anywhere that makes me happier than when I am curled up in my bed. All nice and snug and warm. Ahhh. And relax…

However I am currently developing an intense dislike of my alarm clock. Being rudely awakened from my peaceful slumber by this vile squawking thing is unconscionable, and generally downright horrid.  In light of this new found dislike, the snooze button has become my friend. Which means that my morning run into work is getting more and more hurried and doesn’t allow for any geographical deviation – i.e. I’m going the same route every day and it’s getting really very BORING!

The root cause of the problem is I’ve not been sleeping so well the last couple of weeks. I’m a strict 8 hours a night kind of girl. Lots going on in Mel world – personally, socially and at work . So much so that my head is like a proverbial washing machine on 1400rpm spin speed. Running every day should really be having a positive effect – as in I should be knackered ergo getting better quality sleep – not so much this week. This has had a real knock on effect; I am cranky, I am swinging at the pitch far too readily (and regularly), and have become exceptionally easy to distract. It’s got so bad that my nickname this week in the office is Dorrie. *sigh*

This isn’t rocket science. Sleep is important. It’s not something that I can do without for a little while and then make up for later. It’s as important as diet and exercise, but I know that I don’t always give it the priority it deserves. My intention is always to try and get 8 hours of sleep every night. However the reality is far, far different. The simple maths is this: Good sleep = good running.  Bad sleep = crap running, and also means that I don’t want to run the next day or the day after that etc. etc.

My plan was to run 8 miles today. The reality was just 3 miles. And yes I know I’ve done over 20 miles this week so its not all doom and gloom, but still a target is a target. This will be rectified at the weekend. As will the napping situation.

Happy running kids.

Here’s my training log on Dailymile.

Me and my grumpy pants…

Minor confession: I didnt blog last night. Bad Mel.

Truth be told I was in a rather cantankerous (UNDERSTATEMENT) mood for most of the day yesterday. No particular reason as to why, other than I was feeling a tad frustrated by things that werent exactly going my way. Usual work orientated stuff. You know?

I left the office last night – still feeling a tad ranty – and decided I’d take it slow and easy, but that I would see if there was enough in the tank to crank out some extra miles. However once I was out there and running it was a breeze. An absolute doddle in fact.

It always amazes / amuses me how exercise can have such an impact on your physical and mental energy levels, and as a by product on your ability to run.

The science bit: Exercise induces the release of chemicals called endorphins which generally lower your perception of pain and induce a good feeling in your body, similar to that of morphine. Aces.

Point of note: As a result of this many runners can get depressed when they stop regular exercise, and can become obsessive and set themselves a ‘run every day goal’ that may not be wise nor achievable. < #Janathon runners beware!

Anyway by the time I’d run myself out of my bijou stropette last night I had covered just over 7 miles door-to-door. Upon arrival home my endorphins blatantly did their thing – I had a minor blip of *duracell bunny* like behaviour (dancing around my kitchen listening to some rather manic D’n'B) and then subsequently flollopped (technical term) onto the sofa and did the bubblegum for the brain thing and read Grazia. Regardless of how pooped I was, I was much happier last night post run. Much much happier.

And today I’ve kept up the good work and I’ve run and done gym stuff too – sprints and all sorts. No doubt about it, I’m really rather good.

So next time you find yourself in a similar situation – i.e. you’ve got your grumpy pants on – get out there. Its the best thing for you. And everyone around you too!

Here’s my training log on Dailymile.

A word in your shell…

It’s day #9 of Janathon. Nearly double digits. Exciting. A few questions for you if I may:

►    Have you run out of mental and physical puff?

►    Is it getting harder to find the energy to get out and run?

►    Are you finding it hard to get going again after an off day?

I’ve done all of the above a couple of times already this month. And I know that it will most probably continue on when my heads not in the right space to get out there and kill off some miles. Or when I’m just generally feeling a bit pants. Or when I’m having a lazy arse day. Or when I’m just down right busy at work. Or when I’ve had a bad run the night before… You know all the usual *crap* excuses we come out with?

Its days like that where we have to dig deep. We know what we want to achieve. We can almost taste the elation that we know we’ll feel when we realise our goal. Yet in that moment when we’re faffing around, the end result pales into insignificance. It just doesn’t feel that important. Or achievable.

I was reminded this morning about something I read over the Christmas break. Basically it’s a letter a guy called Damon wrote to himself. This letter is to be delivered in 12 months, and it catalogues what he’s proud that he achieved in 2011, and it also really clearly puts down in writing what his hopes are for himself in 2012.

Now I’m as cynical as the next person. On the surface it’s a bit of a happy clappy thing to do and I wouldn’t normally extoll the virtues of something as wanky as this, however it’s actually quite a good thing to do – for your head, heart and soul.

I brush running off as something that comes easily to me, when in actual fact it doesn’t at all. I’m not really built for running (I’m built for reclining on a chaise lounge and being fed grapes by a tall rugby playing type) and it is an effort for me. To add insult to injury – once I am running – I have the most flippin’ awful arguments that go on inside my head. Someone once told me that the biggest challenge when running a marathon is dealing with what goes on between your ears. They were bloody right you know. The Virgin London Marathon in 2011 was one big argument with myself.

Sometimes what helps quiet the mental tussle is to reflect on everything that you’ve achieved thus far, and to really think about how you’re going to feel when you’ve completed your goal.  Mentally write that letter to yourself. Imagine how you’re going to feel after your last run in January – how you’re most probably going to run like a bit of a loon, with a huge grin on your face, you’re going to say hello to every other runner you see and you’re most probably going to run faster than you’ve done for a while. Or maybe that’s just me?

That thought helped me clock up a mere 2.4 miles tonight. And I know I will come back to it again when I need to.

Here’s my training log on Dailymile  We all know that I’m not going to do the Running Free training thingummy right? Good. Glad we’ve got that straight.