Navel gazing.

I’ve not been doing myself any favours recently. I’ve been getting bugged by silly little irksome things. Naively I’ve been letting them get to me too. Overnight I’ve turned into a worrier. And I’ve been feeling like I’ve got the weight of a small european country on my shoulders.

Like most people when I worry I get distracted, I become incapable of making a decision and faff for ever. I turn into a bit of a goldfish (hence my nickname – Dorrie) and that’s not a good thing, or a good look, when it happens. Mentally I’m off my game. Emotionally it’s a recipe for disaster. Basically I’m all over the place and no good to man nor beast.

I’d been chatting with my best buddy (I *may* have been ranting) about me and my Dorrie like state recently. Anyway I got reminded in a rather timely fashion that sometimes when things get a little complex I need to take things back to the lowest common denominator.

When I worry I tend to focus on too many things; what’s happened in the past, what’s going on now and what might happen in the future. There’s nothing really wrong with that. However I seem to bypass the fact that I can’t change the past, or influence the future.

Thinking about the enormity of this venture – 26 miles around the highways and byways of London – has been causing me to frown over the last few days. And running is supposed to be something I enjoy. Well – after a fashion. I keep getting bogged down (not literally) and thinking too much about when running has been bad / horrible / generally unpleasant etc. in the past rather, than focussing on what I am achieving now and how good it is making me feel.

When I take a step back and think about it all, the cold, harsh reality is that if I spend too much time agonising over what’s occurred in the past or what could happen in the future, then I don’t get to enjoy the here and now. And that’s a pretty pointless exercise…

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