A reason, a season or a lifetime.

Someone said to me a few years back (thank you EHD) that friends come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. It was a comment I glossed over – it was attached to a ticking off as I was cultivating too many friendships at the time and not leaving any space in my life for me, so naturally I didn’t pay much heed – however it’s been repeated to me several times since then, most recently this week.

I had dinner with a French lady called Michelle (early sixties, blonde, chic, a very well *maintained* widow – she is part of some French champagne dynasty and holidaying here for two months as Paris is “simply too cold darling”- you get the picture?) on Monday who was absolutely delightful. Anyway – I digress – we ended up having a very random conversation and got onto the subject of making new friends as we are both holidaying solo, and this phrase came up again; a reason, a season or a lifetime.

None of them is bad. In fact, I think that they are all equally important.

I have been silently (actually not so much…) dealing with a rough patch in a friendship that has meant a great deal to me over the last few years. It’s made me frown a lot, caused some consternation and made me think loads too. Basically I’ve been trying to work out if this friendship is over. And if it’s not then where to next?

Yesterday I came to the conclusion that I can’t change anything. Whatever has happened – well it’s already happened hasnt it? If the friendship is on its way out then I should just accept that. All I can do is take the lessons offered to me, and move forward.

However it has also made me think about the other friendships I have – both now and the ones that I have had in the past. Why it is that there are so many different types of friendships? Why do I have friends that I click with so intensely for such a short time, and then without any real obvious reasons, they are gone? Why do I have some friends that I do not talk to for years, and then when we see each other again, it’s like it’s only been a couple of days since we last spoke? Why do I have friendships that can recover from disagreements and others that just never will? Why do I have some *virtual* friends that I have yet to meet in real life, yet these people provide such a huge amount of support to me?

So my musings on this have bought me to a conclusion; People do just *happen* into my life, and it’s up to me to work out whether those people are here for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Over and above that I have to remember that I could well be a reason, season or lifetime for someone else too.

Over the last three years, I have had many reasons, lots of seasons, and a couple of lifetimes. None are more important or less precious to me than the others. Every single one of these people has enriched my life in ways I will always be grateful for – from taking me out and getting me trollied, to giving sage advice, to listening to me ramble on trying to make sense of stuff, to taking me out dancing all night. Even the ones who seemed to provide a negative experience at the time – well usually they taught me a lot more than I realised at the time. I can honestly say I wouldn’t change any of these experiences. Not a single one.

I hope that I have been *just right* for the people whose lives I have also touched. I hope people look back at their relationships with me and smile, and I hope my current friends know that I am here for them. As and when needed. Just like the doctor ordered…

One thought on “A reason, a season or a lifetime.

  1. >Great post Mel! So very true- helps me with some of the internalised queries I've had in friendships since I came to Australia (moving to the other side of the world makes this reason, season, lifetime truer than ever!). :o)

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