I had the term *frightening* (in a playful banter stylie – natch) levelled at me by @SpeccyWoo yesterday – the reason why escapes me now – we were debating singers or some such nonsense I think… Anyway the banter continued on in the same vein this morning.
This isn’t new news to me as I’ve been told many times that I’m intimidating. At work this happens a lot, and every now and again socially too. I think it’s largely because I’m a bit of a gobshite (sorry – couldn’t think of a better descriptor) when I want to be, highly (and apparently, annoyingly) independent, don’t suffer fools and am quite direct in how I express myself, and my opinions.
Frightening and intimidating aren’t brilliant words to be used to describe someone. Especially when that someone is you. Its not a complaint. Merely an observation. And I’ve accepted after many years that this is how I come across.
The caveat to be applied here is that my closest friends – the people who know the *real* me (a small but perfectly formed crew) – know what I’m really like. I love my own company to the point of being told off for making like a hermit on occasion, I’m uber shy when plonked into a new social dynamic, think way too much for the average girl, hate being the centre of attention and am totally crap if you even vaguely pay me a compliment.
On the positive side I regularly fall off the planet, dive into a bucket of wine and act like I don’t have a care in the world. In addition to that I take total responsibility for providing my girlfriends with amusing stories about my love life, and the fruit loops I’ve met along the way. Plus you can always guarantee that I’m up for a party and dancing my ass off at the drop of a hat. I know how to have fun.
You get the picture? Basically I’m human. Perfectly imperfect and totally fallible.
Now I work in a highly visible role within our organisation. I look after internal communications therefore EVERYONE knows exactly who I am. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that no organisation could / should or would tolerate an internal communications person that has a major *shy* attack every five minutes. Computer simply says no.
So bombastic and highly opinionated (B&HO) Mel comes out to play at work – the rest of the time it’s just little old me. And that works 90% of the time.
The other 10% of the time? Well sometimes people decide that they prefer the full on B&HO version. And you know what? If they do, then that’s their loss, not mine. The way I see it everyone’s a winner with this scenario. Work get the best person for the job. I get to dip my toe into both worlds. And my friends get someone they can laugh at, and more importantly with, who on occasion also helps to brighten things up.
So in my humble opinion perception isn’t always reality.