All about me…

There are a few things I don’t like;

►   Kippers – I mean seriously, smoked fish with bones in it… Return on investment?

►   Offal – My Pa made me eat it as a kid and I’m now traumatised.  Bleurgh.

►   Radishes – IMHO the most pointless vegetable of all time. Fact.

►   My knees – I think they’re fat.  Well maybe just a little chubby.

►   Brown shoes with black suits – A heinous fashion crime worthy of imprisonment.

►   Selfishness.

We are all guilty of being selfish on occasion. I know I can be.  And I know plenty of other people that do it too.  Sometimes they do it consciously.  Sometimes not so much.

VLM has generated a little selfish behaviour; I’ve turned into a bit of a hermit, I’ve been pretty adamant about not straying too far from the wagon for a while now and I’ve been pretty full on about ensuring that I stick to my training programme.  After all its all about the mileage.

I don’t like the feeling I get when I become aware that I’m being selfish – it doesn’t sit very comfortably with me.  I’m not naturally a person that puts me first.  By default  I’m a people pleaser – here with the sole aim in life of making sure that everyone else is happy, doing whatever is asked of me because that’s what you do init?

Ermm no.

Except I do.  Far too regularly and often at the cost of my own sanity, smiles and comfort.

However I’ve spent three months focussing on something that is really important to me and I’m going to make sure that I enjoy every single flipping second of it.  I’m not going to spend the day worrying about whether or not people are having a good time, if they’re ok or whatever.  I’ve sent round a myriad of emails, links and all sorts in my usual highly organised and efficient fashion to make sure that everyone knows where they need to be, when and how to get there etc. But you know what?  You’re on your own now people.

On Sunday I want to be able to focus 100% on putting one foot in front of the other, capturing every moment in my brain and taking away with me the whole experience second by second.

I’ve been thinking about this for a day or so now, and I’ve worked out that the people that accept this *about turn* in my behaviour, well I think that they know how important this is to me.  And those that don’t…? Well you can figure out the rest.

So with immediate effect it’s all about me. At least until Monday that is.

3 thoughts on “All about me…

  1. Quite right too. We all hit a point in our lives when others demands or expectations are just too much to cope with and deal with. And it causes a bit of pain when you realise you have to change. But that’s no bad thing. As a species, we’re just not accustomed to regular change. We like regularity, consistency and knowing where we stand.

    Enjoy Sunday. It is all about you. And it will be a thrilling experience. All the best with it.

    • Thanks for your words Sukh. Wise as ever….

      The word *expectations* has come up a lot in conversation this week. Some people have expected more from me and have told me loud and clear that they havent liked what they’ve seen – aka I’ve not put them first for once. On the flip side of that, however, I’ve definitely expected more from others, and subsequently been left feeling slightly underwhelmed by their actions.

      Right now though – I know where I stand – alone yet strong, mentally prepared, dead excited, wildly nervous and as usual this week feeling slightly nauseous about the mini adventure ahead of me. And I plan on enjoying every single blooming second! x

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