I’m sorry.

Like most people I forget how lucky I am sometimes.  I’m 39 years old, solvent, smart, sassy and I know that from the outside looking in people assume I’m kind of sorted.  And for the most part they are right – I am pretty sorted – I have the most amazing friends and family, a challenging job which excites and terrifies me in equal swathes every day, a social diary that just doesn’t quit sometimes and the freedom to do pretty much what I want, when I want and how. Plus there’s a boy who puts a grin on my face too.

In my previous incarnation as a marketing lovie I used to project manage events, conferences, exhibitions and stuff like that, so I’m very used to that feeling where your world totally revolves around just one thing for months and months on end. You are constantly focused on this one thing and then just like that – blink and you miss it – it’s done, shows over and you’re back to normal life.  But hang on a second….  Can someone remind me what normal life is please??

I’d not realised until last week just how much my hours, days and weeks have been filled by #VLM over the last three months.  And now it’s not there to consume my every waking moment, well basically, I’m feeling a little lost. 

My best friend – far too smart for her own good sometimes – did *warn* me that this might happen.  “You need to have a plan Mel” was repeated (at me) on numerous occasions.  Yes, yes, yes! Enough already with the nagging

Despite my initial *mutter mutter* response I did actually pay heed to those words. Not even 24 hours had passed after #VLM and I was already plotting and planning the next mini adventure. The agenda for the next six months is full to the brim with things like the Nottingham ‘Robin Hood’ marathon with Jane and Rob, Windsor half marathon with James and Ross, plus this morning I got up at stupid o’clock to enter the ballot for next year’s #VLM.  (Yes I know that the last bit is quite nuts. Ta.)

This isnt a cry for help. I’m not waiting for you to comment within nano seconds of having read this. Or any other such dramatic nonsense.  It’s just that I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one having a post #VLM slump / navel gazing / eyeore moment, so I thought it would be a good thing to share what was going on in my head.  (Scary I know.)

I know that I will be back *on form* in the next week or so.  First of all though I need to have my little moment so I can get back to being 100% Mel. Not the 80% Mel which is what I know I’m giving right now.

So if you do run into me (pardon the horrendous and very obvious pun) either virtually, mentally or physically over the next week or so then please put on your kid gloves, treat me kindly as I’m feeling a little fragile. All hugs are gratefully received.  (And I love a good hug).  And for the record I’m sorry.  You deserve better….

But – to quote Arnie – I’ll be back… And God help you then.

4 thoughts on “I’m sorry.

    • Well I’m glad to hear that you’re ok. Three out of four are depressed. You’re falling into a mug-a-wine 🙂 Talking of which – see you Saturday x

  1. Those remarks resemble me lol, first week after the marathon I was lost… luckily I can run again now and with training for Robin Hood only 6 days away… life is full again… sad, sad man am I 🙂

    Great blog Mel

    • Thanks Rob. I think we’re all going to have our little eyeore moments. It’s been a sole focus for so long. Whilst we all know that we have more stuff to focus on and look forward to, what’s more important is that we have people around us – friends, families, loved ones, colleagues and yes even the #vlm gang on twitter – who get it, who will be there for us, who’ll give us a manly punch and tell us that no-one died, we havent lost a limb. We did something amazing. And we shouldnt lose sight of that. We are all very unique people. Fact.

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