My favourite new word…

I like words, and all things generally associated with them. To me stringing words together is an art form, and when done well can will inspire, excite and motivate. Sometimes I stumble across words that really resonate with me.

<< These did.

Since #vlm I’ve had a pretty full on time and it’s taken its toll; mentally, physically and emotionally. Work has been stupidly busy – there are some scarily huge projects on my to-do list that I’m dying to get on with – so I’ve been busy shuffling the team around so that we can help each other out a bit more where possible. To aid and abet the cause we’ve had a newbie join the gang earlier this month.  (She’s a PR genius and I’m seriously considering cloning her).  Following on from that I’m really proud to be able to say that everyone has stepped up to make sure that as a group we produce the best work that we can, and that we nail every project in our path.

Over and above all of that I’ve done some other stuff: I’ve moved house. I’ve split up with the boy. I’ve fallen out with a close friend.  I’ve dodged riots.  I’ve got dragged into stuff to do with wills, trust funds and all sorts that I simply dont want to be dragged into. In truth life has felt like a flipping merry-go-round on occasion. And one I didn’t always want to be on.

During this time things have by and large gone my way. However on occasion they’ve gone spectacularly wrong.  I’ve mis-communicated with friends. I’ve made stupid (damn fool) errors at work. I’ve totally over-reacted to some situations. I’ve made personal judgement calls that were so wide of the mark that I think maybe I should get my head read.

When things go wrong or off piste or even a little awry my default setting is to hold myself totally accountable for the failure, even when it’s outside of my control. In spite of this I will always maintain a stance of pretending to the outside world that everything is just fine and dandy.  Years of practise have taught me that it’s far easier to hide my feelings and not deal with my emotions – to bury them deep in the sand – than to acknowledge the situation, learn from it and make damn sure it doesn’t happen again.

I had a bit of an epiphany moment last week; this behaviour doesn’t actually get me anywhere.  Quelle horror!  It is naive to think we can be all things to all people therefore we have to accept that there will be times when we will disappoint others / screw up / fail to deliver etc. After all we are all only human.

In instances like this we would be best served to remember that we can’t control our emotions. However we can choose how we respond to them. I might not like how some things have made me feel in recent months, but I can make a conscious decision on how I will allow these negative emotions affect me.  For me the first step is to accept that I am as fallible as the next person; that sometimes I don’t get it right and that on occasion I get it very, very wrong. The next step after that?  I havent a clue – its baby steps right now – this is all very alien to me so I don’t want to rush things.  I’m just going to sit with it all for a while and see how it feels.

In light of this epiphany moment my favourite new word is *acceptance*.  A strong word. And even better it gives you a wapping 18 points on a Scrabble board… Awesome.

One thought on “My favourite new word…

  1. I really enjoy this sentence:close your eyes , clear your heart,let it go.It’s for me a way of life.Enjoy your blog .Best regards .Marco

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