Letting go.

Disappointment doesn’t feel good does it? The day after this year’s London Marathon I entered the ballot for next year. The results were due to be mailed out at the beginning of October, and I’ve been waiting to hear news for nearly ten days now on whether I’m in or I’m out. Every night I’d go home and check the post. Nada. Zip. Nowt. Grrrr.

Today I got my answer. And it wasn’t the answer I wanted. I’m out, therefore I’m disappointed. Hugely so. And as has been rightly acknowledged I put my *grumpy pants* on for a little while after I got the news this morning too.

But let’s be realistic for a second, disappointment happens to all of us. It’s not just me. No one goes through life without ever having an expectation, a hope or a belief that didn’t pan out. It happens to all of us. And we all deal with it in our own way.

Like worry, stress and anxiety there’s no benefit in holding onto the feeling of disappointment. None whatsoever. Even still, the majority of us chose to hang on tight to the feeling with both hands. Sometimes we take it to the nth degree and have a right good rant about the situation in the vain hope of gaining sympathy, empathy, or anything that we think might offer some form of comfort. I will fess up that I have been known to do this on occasion.

But in reality, having a rant doesn’t change a thing. The facts remain the same; it is what it is, it’s already happened and the chances of changing it are a big fat zero.

Now the logical amongst you will spot that the word *chose* up there…  We all have the ability to choose – do we want to feel good or do we want to feel bad? If it’s the former (ermm why would you choose the bad option?!) then we simply have to let the feeling of disappointment go. Accept that it’s happened, it’s over, and that there’s nothing that you can do to change that fact, draw a chuffing great big thick black line underneath it and MOVE ON!

The sensible dude (or dudette) would obviously let the feeling go. The sadness, the frustration and the anger if you feel that too. The why me, the why not me etc. And also that horrible feeling that your life is a bit like a snow globe and it’s just been given a right good shake.

Why should you let it go?  To quote my mother; you should let it go simply because you can. Because you are still alive and breathing. And if you’re still alive and breathing, you have the ability to choose.

At the end of the day we all know that it’s a waste of time to hold onto feelings that don’t serve us well. And worse still these feelings will do nothing to help us move forward in any way. Next time something like this happens maybe the smart move would be to allow yourself to go with the situation, but to be cogniscant and acknowledge it.  Something along the lines of “Mmhh. Not loving this, but it is what it is and I can’t do anything about that. So what shall I do now..?”

Attitude and awareness are key here. And the realisation that you always have a choice in life.

For the record my awareness was excellent, but my atttidue stank for about 30 minutes this morning. Then I got with the program. A bond place with a charity is next on the agenda. And yes that does mean I’ll be tapping you up for some sponsorship next year… 🙂

6 thoughts on “Letting go.

  1. One of my biggest learnings was that you don’t have to understand something in order to let it go. I always tried to understand a situation fully, believing only then could I move on. Not true. I put whatever it is that is holding me in negativity in a big blue bubble and I blow it away. Works every time, but it does take practise.

    • I knew there was a reason I liked you. And it wasnt just the name 🙂

      I think you’re right. We can over analyse till the cows come home, sometimes we just need to accept that our expectations wont be met. I once got told to think about where I was using my energy. And I know now that I’ve wasted a lot of it getting caught up on stuff… Dont waste time cogitating over what could, should and would have happened. Practising the letting go thing is the way forward. Thanks Mel.

  2. I’m so sorry you didn’t get a place. However, there are lots of charities out there (my employer included) who love people like you. So, don’t lose hope, ‘keep on running’ (see what I did there?) and find a worthy cause. I’ll sponsor you for certain x

    • Hey Em. Thanks for your kind words. Dont fret. I’m not going to lose sight of my goal. It’s important to me and I want to do this. (Although certain friends seem to think that I have completely lost the plot – running #VLM once was daft, to want to run it twice is downright stupidity!) I’ll get myself sorted and then I’l definitely be back to darken your door on the sponsorship front…;)

  3. Great post Mel and so very true. I felt similarly disappointed to get my VLM2012 dear John letter, hey ho, onwards and upwards – Virgin 2012 London Triathlon perhaps now? In the heat of the moment it is often difficult to stand back and see that we do have the choice.. count to 10, deep breath and reflect 🙂

    • Rob – you more than most get where my head was yesterday… #VLM was such an emotional experience for me, and I learnt so much about myself and what I was – sorry – what I am capable of. That’s kinda the driving force behind me wanting to do it again – so that this time I can enjoy every single second of it. Twisted I know, but it’ll make me happy. Onwards and upwards indeed…

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