I was having a chat with a mate about something at the weekend – actually not something, someone – and their approach to a situation and how by not taking control of it that they had became a victim of it, and ultimately themselves.
The words victim and victor have the same root origin. The prefix vict comes from latin and means to conquer. Of course, the victor is the one who does the conquering and the victim is the one who is conquered. Strange how two words can be so similar in origin, but so diametrically opposed in meaning.
We all know people with a victim mentality. This state of mind is usually characterised by a sense of helplessness. They feel powerless to change their situation. They engage frequently in the finger pointing / blame game. Since they are powerless and have no control they couldn’t possibly be responsible for anything that happens to them – could they? No, it must be someone else’s fault. Natch.
They actively search for reasons why they are in the state they are in. It’s because of their race, gender, their economic status, or sexual orientation. Or it could be because of their faith, their appearance, or any number of other things; but they can always find a way to justify the blame.
Victimhood does exactly what the victim thinks it does. It holds the victim back. It prevents them from making progress. However, in many cases, it’s the belief in the victimisation itself and not the perceived victimisers that keeps people in their place.
By its very nature, victimhood is the polar opposite of victory. The victim is the conquered so it shouldn’t be surprising that they don’t share many traits with the victors. In the mind of the victor, blame is replaced by ownership and responsibility. Instead of wasting their energy trying to find someone to blame or searching for reasons why they haven’t moved forward, the victor takes responsibility for their situation and spends their energy looking at how they can change a situation. They don’t look for excuses; they look for ways to take action.
I get very frustrated by people that act the victim. It makes me sad that they appear to see life as a losing game, a source of oppression, and as if everyone is out to get them. They’re really not btw. These people stand little chance of having a fulfilling, happy and contented life. Ok, ok, ok. No one is happy and content all of the time, but how is happiness even possible with a negative outlook?
At the end of the day, whether victim or victor, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s the Law of Attraction in action. The person who thinks constantly about defeat, injustice and blame attracts more defeat, injustice and blame. A setback for a victim who attempts to move things forward is seen as the final straw. They give up.
Whereas the person whose focus is positive and proactive, well they generally attract more positivity and action. Even when they fail, they don’t look for blame, they look for the lesson to learn and they get back up and go at it again. No wonder they end up winning a whole lot more than they lose.
I’ll let you work out how that applies to running. And for the record I am not a victim.