A mug’s game.

mugWe all like a challenge. And I’m no different. However, I have a colleague who falls into the *challenge* category. For whatever reason, this person has taken a dislike to me and takes great satisfaction in belittling me on occasion.

Picture this: I’m happily meandering along at work, busy minding my own business, cracking on with the job at hand etc., and all of a sudden, when I least expect it, the proverbial rug gets firmly yanked out from underneath my feet. I have just been emotionally mugged. I am treated to the finest of narky attitudes, a barrage of snide comments and a general lack of responsiveness.

Not exactly a feel-good scenario tbh.

I’ve tried hard to find a way to coexist with this person. Over time I’ve got frustrated, I’ve got worried and I’ve got stressed. To make matters worse I’ve expended way too much energy on this person. And for the record my energy is precious and I have important people to spend it on.

Now – despite my *I don’t take any prisoners* exterior – this stuff actually bothers me. A lot. Therefore my default response would normally be to question myself – what did I do to deserve this? After all, I must have done something… Right?

No.

(I know, I know, I am a dufus on occasion.)

I was chatting to someone recently and something was uttered that triggered off a bit of a light bulb moment in my head. I now see that the negativity that abounds here belongs to them – my mugger – and not me. Like it or not I can’t escape this person, however I can figure out the best way to deal with them.

Firstly, I can stop believing that I deserve to be treated in this way. No one does. This behaviour speaks volumes about them – my mugger – they might be super stressed out in their own lives or dealing with some sort of emotional overload and just need someone to lash out at; they might be the type of person that keeps their emotions to themselves, nurturing their grudge, and then they simply explode when they can’t take any more; or they could be the kind of people who thrive on causing others pain because they are incredibly unhappy.

None of that, however, is my issue – its theirs – and they need to deal with it. Not put it on a plate for me so I can deal with it on their behalf.

Next up I can think about the *mugging* and specifically how I acted and correct any behaviours that might have triggered it. Did I provoke it in any way? Did I act unreasonably? Did I act in a selfish fashion?

(Experience dictates that the usual answer to the above questions is NO.)

Finally, once I’ve done all of that, I can accept that it happened, be cognisant of what I’ve learnt from it and move on.

If I allow this to impact me – if I start to act like someone that deserves to be treated in this way – I will simply encourage more of it. Well, that’s not going to happen. The bottom line is that I’m not a mug, therefore I am not going to tolerate being mugged. End of.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s