He (the DH that is) is having a bit of a tough time of it at the moment. I know from past experience that it’s pointless verbally prodding him right now and trying to find out what’s going on. He will talk about stuff as and when he’s ready. Once he’s mentally chewed it over and got it straight in his head. And not before.
Anyway all this got me thinking about stress. People deal with it in many different ways. I’m no different. Depending on the day of the week and the warp factor my stress level has reached I will either:
a) Turn into the life and soul of the party and pretend it’s not really happening in a vain attempt to hide my stress from all and sundry.
b) Withdraw into my shell, take it all a bit personally and get narky with anyone who decides engaging me in conversation is a good idea. (Foolish foolish people).
At the root of it all I do this simply because I don’t like people to know when I’m having a tough time. Combine this with the fact that I like to fix stuff myself – I am HIGHLY self-sufficient you see – so nine times out of ten I will simply crack on, act in a way that means I can cope short term, find a solution, and get it sorted myself. No need to rely on anyone else. Bucks has prevailed again.
Sometimes, though, I don’t prevail and the issue lingers on and I find myself feeling more and more isolated. Every now and again I have a problem that I don’t actually know how to fix. And here’s where I get my knickers in a knot. I’m usually so fixated on sorting stuff out that I haven’t told anyone else what’s going on so they don’t have a scooby how I’m feeling. Or why I’m acting in the strange and most probably bizarre way that I am. Guilt usually sets in right about now too. I get very fanatical about the fact that I don’t want to burden anyone else with my problems. They are my problems after all, so why would I? And then I get it into my head that my friends and family could not possibly understand what I’m going through. On top of that my perspective of the situation has most probably got a complete skew on too… I end up with a situation blown totally out of all proportion, no solution to apply and feeling really rather alone.
Many people – me included – are sometimes scared of talking about things as they think they’ll be judged as being weak. But it’s actually the opposite – talking demonstrates that you want to find a solution, that you are prepared to look at the options and that you are not too proud to ask for help in a time of need.
Sometimes we just need to MTFU, get over ourselves and talk about stuff.
“It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.” – Lena Horne