Dealing with it.

FootprintsRandom conversation on the train out west with a work colleague the other week. He was venting about someone that had disappointed him recently. And it got me thinking…

Dealing with disappointment isn’t easy. However we can’t avoid it. All of us will suffer from disappointment at some point. And more than just once in our life time. 

Disappointment is different to anger. Really, it’s sadness. We don’t often call it that, but that’s how our brain feels. It feels sad. And let down. And frustrated. And that kind of exasperation is what we call “feeling disappointed”.

However, all too often, disappointment can turn into a distraction.

The sadness you feel can affect you in different ways – it can make you ambivalent or wildly irrational — two opposing ends of the emotional spectrum.  Regardless of the feeling the net result is that Instead of focusing on the things you need to do in order to be a success, you obsess on the nightmare scenario that is playing out right in front of you.

There’s no magic formula for curing sadness.  Sometimes you just have to feel sad until you don’t feel sad anymore. But along the way you can help yourself.

Stop denying you’re in a funk. It happens to all of us. Therefore it does no good to pretend you’re any different to anyone else. Especially when you’re disappointed. Realising the emotional state that you are in right now is the beginning of a healing process.

Keep moving your feet forward.  You have things to do.  So get on and do them.  Look at your task list and see what you need to do. Despite how you’re feeling, the best way to take your mind off your situation is to get busy and do stuff.

Go ahead and hit something. Vent. Shout. Rant. Physical activity is a great way to release the sadness and pent up frustration that you’re feeling right now. So go and do something. Walk somewhere. Run anywhere. Hit something. Don’t leave your emotions to boil inside you. That will make you weaker.

Move on when it’s time to move on. You can’t (and shouldn’t) be disappointed forever. The faster you heal, the more time you have to focus on the best parts of your life. So don’t dwell on the nasty side of personal experiences. When it’s time to let things go, then let them go.

Sadness is a part of life. It can be a healthy part of life if you can learn from it and you can become stronger in the process. When you are hurting, no amount of explanation can heal the sadness you feel. In spite of your worry and frustration, the only real antidote to disappointment is to know how to heal.

Don’t avoid it. That is only lying to yourself. But remind yourself that sometimes when you’re feeling pain that you will, eventually, feel better.

And you will. Just keep moving towards where you want to be.

One foot in front of the other.

Left. Right. Left. Right.

And repeat.

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